After reading the recent blogs of @StacyLOliver (see post here) and @NikiRudolph (see post here) I began to reflect on their words.  Observe.  Appreciate.  Think positive.  Remember how crazy things are.  People are not superheroes (but they sure do seem like it when it’s really hectic!).  Do I do these things enough?  Did I do these things today?

Let me digress and add a little back story … For those of you who don’t live in a snowbelt area with lake effect snow (let’s say NE Ohio, for example) you may not be dramatically impacted by snow cancellations.  My institution, however, was in mid/late December.  Classes were canceled at one of the worst possible times – FINALS WEEK!  Panic ensued.  A contingency plan evolved – very complex with an 8-campus system experiencing different closures and weather.  Ultimately it meant that finals went as late as December 22 for some students.  Processing of grades, graduation, etc. was extended until December 28, technically the University was shut down at this time, making for an even more interesting situation.  Long story short, classes resume on Monday, and we’re still playing catch up!

Why the back story?  Well, today, I was speaking with a student about her preparation for the upcoming semester and she shared with me an encounter she’d had with someone in another office who had been somewhat short with her.  Had I not just read the aforementioned blogs, my reaction might have gone something like this… “Gosh, are they always that rude!? “  Whether with those exact words or not, my point is that I would have likely conveyed a message implying that this was par for the course for said office.  Instead, I was reminded that some situations are really trying — I imagine this office, in particular, has been dealing with a flood of student calls and did not enjoy much of our shutdown — we’re all human.  So, instead, my response was, “Gosh, that’s unusual, but you know it’s been incredibly hectic given that we’re still catching up from last semester.  I bet she was inundated with calls and didn’t even realize she was coming across that way.  Who did you speak with, anyway?”  She told me.  I don’t know the person well, but it was a name I recognized.  I do know her supervisor though.

I then did the unthinkable (thanks to my muses Stacy and Niki!)… after the student left my office, I picked up my phone and called the supervisor.  Our conversation was brief, and I made sure to tell her that I wasn’t calling to complain.  I said something to the effect of, “Your staff is handling this craziness amazingly! I can’t imagine how they’re hanging in.”  She responded with a thank you and went on to say that she knew some of the staff were starting to get frazzled, but that the worst wasn’t over yet.  And she’s right next week will bring many new challenges…what could we do?  We want to help her staff, who are amazing and wonderful and are just baring the brunt of this unusual semester end/beginning, feel appreciated. A ha, that’s it! One of our local sandwich shops is always bringing samples around – one days it’s a dean’s office, the next residence life, the library, etc.  So, I said, let’s call up “That Sandwich Shop” and ask them if they’ll make your office tomorrow’s recipient.  Guess what.  They are.

My point.  On a fairly regular basis students, faculty, peers even, complain or criticize the work of others.  The two blog posts I read challenged me to remember the good and appreciate the challenges and monotony that our colleagues face.  They helped me to reframe my response from something that, more than likely, would have been negative, into something that carried out a positive and supportive overtone.  Stacy and Niki’s blogs helped me to remember to be more positive even when faced with negative feedback or messages.  We do, after all, work for the same institution as our colleagues and we should want to carry a united front.  Pay it forward.  I certainly wouldn’t want anyone agreeing with a student about a negative experience they had with me.

I’m not certain that I would have reached out the same way that I did today without the inspiration, but now that I’ve planted the seed, I hope I continue to grow it.  I challenge you to do the same.

Kristin Williams is the Business Experiences Manager, College of Business Administration, Kent State University

                Not
long ago I had the opportunity to present at a local conference with a colleague
of mine. At the university at which I both work and take my graduate classes,
we host an annual regional conference on leadership and diversity. Due to my
position in the multicultural affairs unit, it seemed only practical that I
present and upon talking with my colleague of mine, we came up with what we
thought would be a great idea for a presentation.

                We
decided that since we both have a background in leadership studies, and with my
work in multicultural affairs, we would be able to broach both of these
important topics in tandem. We were very excited. This conference has a large
undergraduate student draw. Many leadership programs in the south-east come to
this conference annually due to the high-quality of presentations and key-note
speakers.

                Due to
the population, we knew that we would have to alter our presentation to not
only get bodies in the room, but keep them engaged in order for them to remain
interested and to learn something useful and practical that they could use upon
leaving at the end of the day. She and I were both very excited when we
realized exactly what to do. We would utilize clips from popular culture as
examples of leadership and its different styles in order to teach our lessons.

                We had
everyone included; from John Dorian of Scrubs,
to Jack Sheppard of LOST. And of
course, one can not forget The Donald. We carefully selected clips from these as
well as a few other tid-bits of pop-culture genius in order to talk about
different points of leadership and leading a diverse team. We were placed in
the slot at the end of the day to present, where they usually put the most
interesting sounding presentations. The day of right the presentation; right before
we were to begin, we filled up the largest room they had booked for presentations,
in fact, it became standing room only.

Unfortunately, the presentation was
Power Point based and the night before we realize that we had built the entire
presentation on a Mac. The day of the conference we realize that we didn’t have
a cable in order to connect the Mac to the projector. Somehow, I managed to
find a CD in order to burn the presentation to disc in order for us to transfer
this huge presentation with media embedded within to the presentation computer,
which of course was probably made in 1992. I say it was made in 1992, for once
we were able to actually transfer the presentation to the other computer, it
was unable to handle the media and froze up several times. In fact, the last
time it froze up was right in the middle of our presentation.

                At the
time we were both crushed. We had people walk out of presentation. Our reviews
were horrible. My colleague refused to even read the evaluations. (Not all of
them were bad!) Fortunately for my own self-preservation; I am in the thought
that every moment of our lives must be taken as a learning moment. So although
we had a great idea for a presentation, and had it immaculately prepared on our
Mac and it looked very nice and worked quite well, once we discovered what the
room looked like the day of, and the inability to connect my computer to the
projector, and the lack of speakers for sound, it was quite evident, we had not
prepared quite enough.  

                The
take away message for everyone is that it is of the most importance for us to
be fully prepared to handle whatever bumps that may be thrown at us. This can
be presenting at a conference, or in class. This could be meeting with
students, or throwing an event. Our profession is often abundant with road
hazards. It is important to be able to roll with these misfortunes and be able
to quickly adapt. It is more important to learn to identify potential problems
before going in so that you can be prepared. I know that I for one now carry an
8 gig flash drive on my keys in hopes that something like this will never
happen.

By the end of the presentation, we
had a core group of students that remained throughout the presentation and in
the end; I feel that these students learned more than they had bargained for. Several
of these students were headed into the field of Student Affairs, and since we
were very candid about what happened, I am sure none of them will make the same
mistakes we made, and I hope that you will not either.

P.S. One of my fellow graduate students was kind enough to
sit in the front and record the whole thing for me, so that we would be able to
improve afterward. I have yet to watch the video, I am pretty sure I know what
went wrong at this point!

Today I received a hand-written, paper and pen thank you note in the mail from a student whom I have mentored as he has gone on to pursue a masters degree in student affairs administration.  He is graduating next month and has charted a course for success in this crazy field we have all chosen.

The best paragraph I've read in a few weeks comes from the introduction of Paul Loeb's Soul of a Citizen.

The dream of sanctuary is an illusion. It erodes our souls by eroding our sense of larger connection, whether to our fellow human beings or to that force that many of us call God. The walls we're building around ourselves, around those closest to us, and ultimately around our hearts may provide a temporary feeling of security. But they can't prevent the world from affecting us. Quite the opposite. The more we construct such barriers, the more private life, for most of us, will grow steadily more insecure. (pg. 7)

In applying Loeb's writing to my experience on a college campus, the first thing I think of is walking past those students who simply can't walk on campus without earphones on or a cell phone held to their ear. My sightings of these students have skyrocketed over the past three years, with iPods commonplace and cell phones becoming a staple. Each time I see a student say goodbye to a group of friends and then pull out a cell phone to call someone else, I wonder about the connection between this behavior and self-confidence.

The idea of a "larger connection," as Loeb labels it, seems lost on many of today's college students. Many students would seemingly rather keep listening to their music than say thank you to those holding a door open for them. It seems like they'd do anything possible to avoid having to decide whether or not to make eye contact with a stranger and utter one syllable. So what do they do? Whip out the cell phone to talk to someone that's within their "walls."

We've accomplished quite a bit last year, speaking in terms of civic engagement. College students showed an incredible amount of enthusiasm all over the country for the political process, and service-learning is playing a larger role in education across the nation. But perhaps we're looking too much at the forest instead of zeroing in on the trees.

I've resisted the notion that just because youth today engage in activism online and plan it online, the Millennial brand of activism is of a diminished quality. However, I do think that youth today can improve their efforts to create positive change by challenging themselves to tear down some of those walls so they can be expanded. A face-to-face interaction with a stranger isn't going to lead to a scolding anymore like it might if we Millennials were still trapped in your childhood. Loeb gets it right — the more we erect walls, the more insecure we get; the less walls we have surrounding us, the more confident we are.

It’s near the middle of the fall semester for many campuses and there’s a chance you are feeling that pinch of stress. That feeling that we have bitten off more than we can chew and overcommitted ourselves. Again. The feeling of a schedule becoming out of control that may require snorkle gear if we reply to one more email request.

Stress raises our adrenaline, resulting in increased heart rate, respiration, and blood pressure. These increases make bodily organs work harder. A little stress is good and keeps us on our toes. But over the long term, too much stress can lead to illnesses such as heart disease, high blood pressure, and stroke.

The MBTI Blog discusses our stress as an In The Grip experience, or being forced to react contrary to personality preferences. Usually my recognition of being in a Grip experience arises when I am counseling a student with school anxiety and realize I need to take my own advice.

In my first-year seminar, we discuss the symptoms and effects of stress and ways college students can alleviate stress through planning and organization. For a bit of fun, we encourage students to add more stress to their lives with a few of the suggestions below:

♦ No matter where you are going, always leave for the appointment at the time you should be arriving. On the way there, drive, walk or ride your bike no further than two feet from the car or person in front of you.

♦ Don’t pay attention to your body. If you feel yourself becoming over-stressed and tired, ignore it and keep pushing yourself.

♦ Make a special effort to take note of the irritations in your life and blow them out of proportion. Be resentful and hypercritical, especially toward yourself.

♦ Refuse to take action on nagging problems. Procrastinate, worry, and whenever possibly lose sleep over them. Blame other people for all of your problems.

♦ If you’ve been sleeping less than 4 hours a night, consider eliminating this activity altogether.

Stress Management Tips offers great information, games and exercises to introduce to your students. Me? I’m practicing a little deep breathing until finals week.

What causes you stress? Do you have a favorite stress reliever?