Last
month, after working just over 15 years full-time in Student Affairs
(mostly in Residence Life), I resigned my stable, standing position
at one of the best universities in America (Penn State), and moved to
Athens, GA, to go into business for myself as a Life, Career and
Transition Coach. In later posts, and on one or the other of my own blogs, I will expand
on my reasons and explain more why I did what some might think is a
pretty crazy thing, and what I hope to do with my newfound life as an
“education entrepreneur.” But for now, I would like to share some
things I learned from working in higher education over the last
generation.

The
following comments were adapted from a handout I gave out as I
delivered my “parting thoughts” to fellow staff at Penn State.
Hopefully, readers will find some wisdom, some humor, or at least
something to disagree with among the dozen items below.

1.
Like the people around you. It
makes coming to work less stressful. And by this I mean like your
peers, housing and foods workers, your RAs, student leaders, student
drama queens/kings, needy clingy types, nerds, troublemakers,
arrogant bastards, and even crazy parents. There’s something to
like about almost anybody. Look for the good. It won’t kill you.

2.
Mind your own business. And
everything isn’t your business! The more time you spend worrying
about what other people are doing, the less you are paying attention
to yourself and what you are supposed to be doing. And people do
notice. It annoys them, because you spend too much time being cranky,
instead of producing results.

3.
People don’t care what you think. They
care what you do. Do or do not. All talk
and no action doesn’t just make you a dull boy. It makes you an
a**hole. If you aren’t going to do something about the things you
want to change, then shut up already. Silence is golden.

4.
Treat people with dignity and respect.
Working in Student Affairs is about
valuing people. This includes the students, their parents, your
colleagues, your boss, the custodians, the housing manager, the
coffeehouse workers, maintenance workers, UPS guy, commons desk
workers, etc. People won’t remember you for your title. They’ll
remember how you treated them. And you can learn a lot about life,
work, ethics and purpose from just about anyone. Never put yourself
on a pedestal above other people. You may think you have the big
picture from up there, but that’s just the thin air making you
giddy and keeping you from actually thinking.

5.
Take assignments others don’t want. You
will define yourself as a team player with a good work ethic, and you
will learn something from doing the tasks. If the task is boring,
confusing or not particularly motivational, do what you can to change
that. Think between the lines of your task or committee’s
descriptions. If you are bored and unmotivated, that’s a choice you
are making, not something that others are doing to you to make you
miserable.

6.
If you don’t love students, you shouldn’t be here. Go away.
Conversely, if you do love students, that
doesn’t necessarily mean you should be here or do what you are
particularly doing, either. Loving students and being able to help
them are two very different things. To make it in Student Affairs,
you have to love them until it hurts you, and do the things that are
necessary to help them, even if that hurts a little more. If you
don’t feel like helping college students is your purpose in life, a
lot of what you have to do will eat at your soul. And nobody likes a
picked-over, half-eaten soul. Get out while you still can. You
deserve to be happy and do what you love.

7.
Assume that others have good intentions.
Most people do. They just fail in their
practices. And it’s best to assume that when they do fail, that it
had nothing to do with you. People think more about themselves than
others. It’s human nature. If you are honest with yourself, you are
that way sometimes, too. Give people a break. You know you’d want
one.

8.
There is no grand conspiracy to keep you in
your place. Conspiracies require
planning, and planning requires ideas. Most people in charge are too
busy thinking about themselves and keeping off people’s radar
screens in a bad way to come up with any great ideas. They are just
doing their thing and hoping it will all work out. So refer back to
#7 and assume that they have good intentions (for you or someone
else) and that most negative impacts on you are the result of good
intentions and bad planning exploding in someone’s face, and not
some effort to confound you. It’s not all about you. Get over
yourself.

9.
That being said, there are some conspiracies, good-old-boy networks,
and cliques operating within and at the periphery of any
organization. Anyone who watches Survivor knows
that people in your coalition are just as sure to screw you over as
people who aren’t. Sometimes the better choice is not to play games
at all. Leave the games to Survivor, and people will
have to judge you by your actual contribution to an organization,
instead of your alliances.

10.
Choose the mountain you want to die on. If
every issue brought up for discussion at a staff meeting is a
potential opening for telling people they are screwing up, are
stupid, and you know a much better way, and if you perpetually feel a
need to dig in your heels on matters of principle, do yourself a
favor, and keep most of these to yourself. There are more subtle ways
to campaign for change, and one of the most valuable ways is to keep
your head down, do good work, take advantage of strategic
opportunities, and wait for an issue that really matters. If you go
atomic over the announcements, you are seriously limiting your career
options.

11.
Know when to quit. There is a difference between doing what you are
capable of, and doing what you are meant to do with your life. I
always got interesting projects, and I gradually moved into a
position in the organization with stability and a decent amount of
influence. I can point to things I have done that have made a
difference at Penn State. It was fun, and I learned a lot, but I know
in my heart that I am not really meant to be an administrator, but a
creator…to write, to design, to do creative projects and to help
people. And I am meant to be a good husband and father. I arrived at
a point in my career where I knew that I'd accomplished what I needed
to, and so I went gladly, and happily, and I know that Penn State is
better for my having been there, and that people will appreciate me
leaving while things were still going pretty well.

12.
Do good things. Not for your own sake, but for the sake of all beings
in the universe. Save and make free everyone you encounter. Show them
how to attain the wisdom of the way. In
other words, be yourself, free yourself, and give yourself to fate,
destiny and the universe. Life’s too short and the universe is too
vast. Make sure your light burns brightly and doesn’t go out to
soon.