Author Archives

Stacy
Original post
Event Ideas — 6 Comments
13
Sep 11

The Constitution Day Conundrum

In the United States,  Constitution Day is rapidly approaching. Oh, you’ve never heard of Constitution Day? It’s not your favorite fall holiday? You’re not alone. Constitution Day celebrates the signing of the… wait for it… United States Constitution on September 17, 1787. Relevant to many colleges and universities, the legislation authorizing the creation of Constitution Day states,

“Each educational institution that receives Federal funds for a fiscal year should hold an educational program on the United States Constitution on September 17, of such year for the students served by the educational institution.”

After seeing what my campus planned for Constitution Day (free nachos and copies of the Constitution being handed out between classes!),  I did a quick Google search to see what else is going on around the country. This New York Times generated list of programming ideas was the most comprehensive resource I found, though it lacks information about which institution is hosting the listed events. Reading other websites and program teasers, it felt as though the requirement isn’t taken seriously by many institutions, which made me wonder if students understand why these programs take place. And, so, I’m turning it over to our community to discuss –

 

What does your campus have planned for Constitution Day? How seriously does your campus take this programming requirement? How effective have your previous Constitution Day programming efforts been?

Stacy
Original post
Uncategorized — 20 Comments
1
Sep 11

Flip It and Reverse It

I’m going to make a sweeping generalization about student affairs, and then immediately tell you why student affairs should stop making sweeping generalizations.

We have a bad habit of making assumptions about students and defending it behind professional experience.

I was part of a conversation on Twitter last week about the Beloit Mindset List and the sweeping generalizations it makes about the class of 2015. As the discussion progressed, several of us wondered what the list would look like if it were generated by a more diverse, representative body than the committee at Beloit. The list assumes an extraordinary level of privilege and access. It also assumes everyone entering the class of 2015 is eighteen years old and just out of high school. I know that’s not the case on my campus, and seriously doubt it’s the case at Beloit.

This semester I’m teaching a first-year student threshold course (a modified FYE course, of sorts). My peer mentor and I have answered common first-year questions about dining options, the location of the library and how to buy books. In a more humbling moment, though, we stayed after class this afternoon to explain to a new student what PowerPoint is and how to access it for class.

The generalizations apply to more than students. It’s extends to assumptions about parents. Over the past two weeks as semesters kicked off around the globe, I noticed a lot of Twitter conversation and helicopter jokes criticizing parents who were still on campus with their students.

What happens if we turn it into a question instead of an assumption? Why are those parents still on campus?

  • The student may require additional assistance due to a physical challenge. The parent may be helping the student learn the campus as campus access professionals are overwhelmed this time of year with both academic and physical needs.
  • The family may be from an area affected by power outages resulting from Hurricane Irene and not be able to return home.
  • The student may be from out of state or out of country and the parent traveled with them because, after these two weeks, they won’t see their student for a year.

I’ve started practicing this technique of turning my first assumption into a question. Tonight I walked to a local grocery store to pick up dinner and noted a student driving from our parking lot to the store across the street. While my first reaction was one along the lines of,  “This store is 300 yards from your front door. What is going on?” I more thoughtfully asked myself, “What is going on?”

  • The student may have received her financial aid refund and is stocking up for the entire semester at once.
  • The student may not have had much assistance moving in and planning to pick up larger items such as laundry baskets, a bucket or mop that would be difficult to navigate through a busy intersection.
  • The student may work at the store and doesn’t feel comfortable walking back to campus alone at midnight when the store closes.

Some assumptions and generalizations are necessary in our work, but I urge each of you to challenge yourself when you find yourself making an assumption and turn it into a question that can best be answered by the student.

Stacy
Original post
Uncategorized — 18 Comments
23
Aug 11

Faux Mentoring

 The elephant is in the room and now we can tiptoe around it carefully, mouths agape, or we can  acknowledge its presence.

I hate organized mentoring programs.

There, I said it.

Student affairs, as a field, has a storied culture of mentoring. We mentor student leaders who  express an interest in pursuing a career in the field. We mentor young professionals as they earn  their stripes and join the ranks. We continue to validate the need for effective mentoring  throughout careers.

Often this validation appears in the form of mentoring programs offered through professional organizations and formal outlets. It feels oddly like a dating service, filling out a vague, brief questionnaire and then being paired with someone with whom I’m supposed to develop a relationship of mutual learning and sharing. Worse yet, the mentoring programs often work under the assumption that one must be of a higher professional level to mentor someone else.

But is that how mentoring relationships that persist really develop? Can our development as professionals – as people – actually be reduced to six questions and an anonymous matchmaker?

I think about the mentoring programs for which I’ve signed up, both as a mentor and a mentee, and realize none has successfully produced a pairing where I felt sustained support or felt as though I could provide that to another person. Worse yet is having only 15 or 20 minutes laid out for us at a conference to even begin to navigate the waters of that conversation and then having the onus of finding a mutually acceptable communication plan for the duration.

Instead I reflect on my mentors and the variety of ways they’ve appeared in my life and how we’ve connected — the traditional routes such as jobs and internships; the soon-to-traditional routes of social media platforms. I reflect on the people who have told me I’ve served them as a mentor, identifying connection we shared that aided in their growth (and mine, too!).

In May, I asked the #SAchat community to share thoughts on mentoring in the comments of a blog post. As I reflected on what was shared, it validated my non-scientific believe that rarely have organized mentoring programs produced an actual mentoring relationship.

And so, as we start another year, this is my call to arms for our field:

Let’s stop forcing mentorship. Let’s stop creating false expectations of mentoring relationships and how they’re formed. Let’s stop using verbiage that makes it sound as though finding a mentor is as easy as completing an eHarmony dating survey. Let’s stop saying we need a mentor in a specific area or field and be open to mentors who are not what we expect.

Let’s focus on the tangible benefits of mentoring. Let’s replace the 30 minute faux mentoring at a conference with a brief session on intentional networking. Let’s better define mentoring and stop using the word so flippantly that it loses its meaning. Let’s be honest about who our true mentors are and not only how we connected the first time, but how we sustain those relationships.

 

Stacy
Original post
#sachat / Books — 2 Comments
18
May 11

Summer Reading List

During a recent #SAchat about professional development during the summer months, several people suggested hosting book clubs for student affairs staff on campus. We asked for your favorite book recommendations and are (belatedly) ready to share them. Check out the list of recommendations here.

And it’s not too late to submit your recommendations! Keep adding them here. We’ll find a more permanent place on the blog for the form and list as it continues to grow.

 

Are you hosting a summer book club on your campus? What book are you reading?

Stacy
Original post
#sachat — 20 Comments
21
Apr 11

A Sociogram of #SAChat

This is not an official response to the current conversation from the #SAchat leadership team.

I’ve discovered recently I’m unwittingly kind of a big deal in the #SAchat community. This had to be told to me by a colleague. It’s only been within the past few months I’ve been able to piece together how it all happened. One week I was rushing home from yoga to participate in evening chat hoping to connect with other professionals, and the next I was acting as MOD. I never asked for additional responsibilities, though I certainly could have turned down the opportunity to take on the leadership role when it was presented to me.

Because of how much I value the community, I’ve always taken my role as MOD seriously. That probably sounds a little funny, but I fully believe it is my job — both behind the orange avatar and my own — to welcome new participants to the community and help them connect with others. Whether you follow me as @StacyLOliver or not (and I hope you do), I likely know a few details about your functional area and interests if you’ve participated in a weekly #sachat or even just used the hashtag. In my own eyes, I do more than moderate chat — I facilitate our community on the Twitter end of things.

So what may surprise you is that I, too, have felt left out during #sachat or by members of this community. There are conversations I haven’t been included in I wish I was and there are people with whom I don’t feel connected. There are members of our community I call friends and there are members of the community I’ve never connected with on a personal level. There are people I wish I knew better and there are people with whom I’ve fallen out of favor. There are people who have unfollowed me after a disagreement and there are people who have given me second chances. There are people who have said and written hurtful things about me and there are people who lift my heart with their kindness.

This is the nature of a community. When we ask our students to develop a community in residence life, we often ask them to draw a sociogram. In this activity, they show us where people fall in the community and which community members interact with one another. It helps identify those who may be living on the fringes and find ways to bring them into the fold. It helps us connect in more meaningful ways and build a stronger network of relationships. Inevitably, though, there are people who just don’t connect with one another. And that’s okay. Because that’s how a community operates, for better or worse.

Tonight I watched a conversation unfold, spurred by a thoughtful post from James Frier, about our #SAchat community. Though I am disheartened there are people who feel the community or people within it are elitist, I am not surprised. I believe any of us would be hard pressed to identify a community where everyone feels included all of the time and everyone gets along and there are no personality conflicts. My hope is that everyone who participates in #SAchat feels connected to at least a few other people in the group because that is where community starts and relationships begin to grow. Yes, some people use #SAchat as a means of self-promotion. But many people don’t. People choose to participate in communities for a variety of reasons, none of which are inherently wrong.

What would a sociogram of #SAchat look like? And where would you fall on it? And are you comfortable with where you would land?

Despite the perception from others that I’m “kind of a big deal,” I see myself first and foremost as a participant in #sachat and our community. I participate to learn from others and to share resources. I participate to make myself a better professional through discourse, including conversations like the one unfolding now, that make me uncomfortable and force me to look critically at my role in our field.

I make this offer often and I mean it sincerely — if I can help connect you with someone else or help you feel more welcome, I hope you’ll tell me (or the orange avatar).

Stacy
Original post
Uncategorized — 6 Comments
15
Apr 11

April Showers Challenge

Unfortunately we still don’t have a solution to our transcript woes so instead of your usual Friday morning reading fodder, you’re stuck with me.

April is considered to be unkind to those working in student affairs. Hours are long and patience is short, both for students and staff. There are large events and detailed processes. More often than I’m comfortable with, I hear student affairs professional complaining about the month of April. Instead of joining in with the cacophony of voices, I’m issuing a challenge to our community at the mid-way point of the month.

Reframe the rest of April as a chance to be your best and to do your best. Before you complain, ask yourself, “How can I turn this moment into something better? How can I be better in this moment?” Instead of looking at April as an obstacle, consider it the final exam of your year. You are being tested and you need to prove what you have learned.

I’m a consistent advocate for being honest with yourself and others. There’s no denying the end of the academic year is challenging, but it’s up to us to make it a positive challenge to improve and be truly present for your students and colleagues.  Students can sense our dread and frustration. We owe it to them and ourselves to share in the enthusiasm of this transitional time, this celebratory time, this time of closure for our community.

I hope you’ll join me in making the next fifteen days the best of the academic year.

 

Stacy
Original post
#sachat / Announcements / Recap — 6 Comments
8
Apr 11

Transcript Troubles in #SAchat Land

As our faithful readers and chatters know, we provide a transcript of each week’s chat in this space on Friday mornings. Over the past weeks, it has become increasingly more difficult to create that transcript with the service we relied on, WTHashtag.com. This free service allowed us to easily generate the transcript from the scheduled chats, provided statistics and tracked our conversation. Unfortunately, this morning WTHashtag.com posted a notice on its site that it is no longer able to provide this service. Due to a combination of overwhelming their own servers and their interpretation of a change to Twitter’s Terms of Service (TOS), they will no longer be able to provide us with the resources to create the #SAchat transcript.

All of that said, we would like the community’s input in how to move forward. Our loyal transcript creator, Seth Hagler, is researching other services that may meet our need. In the interim, I would love for you to share your thoughts on how to supplement chat should providing transcripts no longer be an option. A few of our ideas include gathering resources shared during the chat and posting those, highlighting a few tweets rather than the entire transcript, or posting a brief summary that others can comment on.

What ideas do you have? How can we leverage this as an opportunity to change and grow with our community?

Stacy
Original post
Uncategorized — 3 Comments
3
Apr 11

Life Lessons on Post-It Notes

I wish I could write more eloquently about the experience of having a terminally ill parent, but the words have always evaded me when I sat down to write about it. There are moments I wish I could capture, some beautiful and some torturous, not only because they are a part of my life, but also because I believe they could help someone else.

I went through a phase last summer after my mother transitioned to hospice care of wanting to understand anticipatory grief, the months and years of illness preceding a loved ones death. I found used books on the topic (we’ll chat some other time about the dark humor of buying used books on grief). All of the stories were tender and beautiful and referred to dying as a “transition.” I couldn’t stomach more than ten or fifteen pages of any one of them before I launched the book across the room into a wall, which often made me feel better than anything I’d read. These were not families to whom I could relate.

The part no one tells you or talks about or writes about is that the entire process is messy. There are highly charged moments of family members hanging up on one another, there are periods of siblings not speaking to one another, there are moments of other people’s insensitivity that make you want to claw your eyes out. There are moments where an entirely family laughs together over a distant memory, where friends reveal themselves as heroes. There is nothing constant or consistent except the complicated nature of being in this state. I jot down lessons I’ve learned on Post-It notes and use them as tangible reminders later when I need them.

Over the past two weeks, I’ve learned what I anticipate will be the most valuable lesson I will take away from this — forgiveness of myself. I left work unexpectedly two weeks ago to be with my mother and family, and had to forgive myself for all of the things left undone during a busy time. I argued with my brother while there, and had to forgive myself for letting the stressful situation make me less of a sister. I pushed friends away who I needed, and had to forgive myself for not being able to tell them what I needed most. After returning home, I had to forgive myself for not being able to stay longer. I’m learning to forgive myself for not always operating at 100% because there are so many things pulling at my time, energy and heart.

I will never have the words to wholly capture this journey. I hope I always have enough words to remind someone else going through this they aren’t alone. And I’ll always have my collection of Post-It note lessons to muse on later.

 

Stacy
Original post
Uncategorized — No Comments
22
Mar 11

The Story of the Lemon Cupcakes

During a team building activity last week with colleagues from the other regional campuses in the Indiana University system, I was asked what I wanted to be when I was little and if I accomplished it. I shared with my partners for the activity my dreams of being a journalist, which first manifested when I started a class newspaper in the fifth grade. The newspaper covered more than the news of Plain Center Elementary School; I wrote op-ed pieces about the Gulf War. Looking back, I can see how much my writing technique has improved, though my politics have changed little (I may have been the world’s most liberal ten-year-old). I do feel as though I have accomplished this goal. I’ve been fortunate to combine my career in student affairs with my original plans of journalism through blogging and writing for professional organizations.

Thinking about it on the way home from Indianapolis, I realized I’ve often (rightfully) given my father credit for my writing skill. He read to me bedtime story after bedtime story (and later listened as I read story after story to him), instilling in me an appreciation for the written word. What I’ve only recently come to appreciate is that my writing technique would be nothing without the love of story telling that so clearly comes from my mother.

My mother is the kind of person you invite to a party because she captivates people with her stories. Others hang on to every word of  her adventure, whether it’s the recounting of her trip to Savannah or an incident while renewing license plates. Her quick wit, humor and pacing lead to a completely satiated audience who feel as though they were right alongside her.

I planned to use this blog post to share my lemon cupcake recipe because it’s been oft requested in the past week (and I will — promise). But I realized my mother would also want me to tell you the stories of my journey to being even slightly competent in the kitchen. I could give you the recipe and act as though I’ve been gifted with a golden spatula. That would be a lie. My journey to having a recipe that is requested over and over again at parties and potlucks was a messy one. She would tell you about the time I was making a double batch of brownies and doubled everything except the brownie mix, leaving a soupy pan of batter in the oven to warm but never bake. She would want me to tell of the time I set the oven on fire while preheating it. She would insist on your knowing that I once made Jell-O that never congealed because the water I used wasn’t hot enough. She would tell all of these stories not to embarrass me, though my cheeks are flushed even remembering these incidents, but to demonstrate the humor of my learning.

Without further ado, the lemon cupcake recipe:

  • 1 box yellow cake mix
  • 4 eggs
  • 3/4 c. oil
  • 3/4 c. lemon juice
  • 1 small box instant lemon pudding mix

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Mix all ingredients well. Fill lined cupcake tins 2/3 of the way full. Bake for 20-25 minutes.

In a small bowl, combine:

  • 1 c. confectioner sugar
  • 2 tbsp. lemon juice

Dip cooled cupcakes into lemon glaze. Let glaze set before serving.

 

Like story telling and baking, my love of lemon also comes from my mother. It was my privilege a few years ago to share this recipe with her, the first she ever requested of me.  Have a cupcake, share a story and enjoy.

Stacy
Original post
Uncategorized — No Comments
13
Mar 11

Both Sides Now

For better or worse, I mainly use this little corner of the Internet to reflect and share my thoughts on student affairs. My career is certainly important to me, but because I focus so much of my energy on my full-time job, my blogging and the professional organizations with which I’m involved, it’s easy to shelve the other pieces of my life. They are no less important; in fact, in many cases they bear greater weight on my daily life.

It has been almost a year since I shared publicly via another blog that my mother is ill. I rarely write about it and only occasionally even discuss it with those closest to me. The past year has seen ups and downs, including her decision over the summer to stop treatment and transition to hospice care. But don’t let the word hospice fool you – she’s active and traveling, still having sleepovers with my four-year-old nephew, and hasn’t missed an opportunity to nag me lovingly.

But what strikes me about the past year is how my identity has finally, after much struggling, absorbed this role as daughter of a sick parent. It’s present in every moment of my day, every day, even when I’m not conscious of it. I see it in the way I respond to my cell phone ringing unexpectedly midday, it changes what I watch on television and the books I read, it changes my friendships with those around me.

Two of my friends identify with this part of my life more than anyone else in my social circle. We’ve formed an exclusive club of the saddest sorts around this common experience. We share the difficult moments, find the levity in the lighter moments, reach out to one another and respect when one of us needs to back away for a bit. This experience wasn’t what brought the three of us together; it’s one of many threads that keep us connected to one another.

One of those friends, K, has been on my mind a lot this past week as his mother’s health recently declined. He left early this week to be with her and his family. I sent him a quick note upon finding out he was leaving and then later in the week sent him a text message to tell him I was thinking of him – because I honestly was (and still am).

Watching someone you love go through this makes you feel helpless in a way you never anticipated. Being on both sides of this experience gives me new perspective.  I understand how strong the desire is to reach out to a friend, but at the same time feel grossly inadequate to say or do anything meaningful. I also know how important those phone calls, text messages and e-mails are, and at the same time feel grossly inadequate to respond appropriately when they are received.

I’m planning to write more about this part of my life over the coming days, weeks and months. I hope it doesn’t deter my student affairs friends from continuing to visit. Actually, I hope it inspires more of them to let others see who they really are and the other pieces of their lives that form their identity.

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