Jessica’s email simply read “Are you ok?”

Over the past eleven days I had asked her that question a dozen times. Through text messages, phone calls, and emails we have been working together as she has been gracefully managing a sorority that has experienced tragedy. At about noon on New Year’s Day, the President of her sorority was left in critical condition after a terrible car accident. The “young” sorority has struggled with managing their emotions as their friend, sister, and center of their sorority lies in a hospital bed fighting for her life yet, Jessica took the time to as if I was ok. Perhaps it was the brevity of my email that prompted her to ask me how I was doing. Maybe, the tone of my email which was about the condition of the injured student, carried a strong sense of worry. Or, it could be that she had grown so accustomed to asking how others were doing over the past eleven days that it was just a conditioned response to ask. Or maybe, the short message to me meant something because it had been a tough day. I responded by saying that it has been a rough day but that I appreciated her asking. I continued by telling her how much positive feedback I received from her advisors and students about her work as the interim sorority president.

As a Student Affairs professional of almost 15 years, I’ve come to realize the impact simple gestures and our words can have on a student. However, I sometimes wonder if a student knows the type of impact their words or actions can have on our lives and perception of what we do. But, it wasn’t Jessica’s three-word email that made such an impact on me, it goes further. I’ve been working closely with Jessica for three years. She’s sought guidance and support as she pursues different student leadership experiences and none more so than advancing in her sorority. I’ve seen her lose several elections, become flustered when assigned responsibility and grow disenfranchised when criticized. It was only this past December that she was elected to serve as Vice President and, if I had asked her two weeks ago if she was prepared to serve as her organization’s President in the midst of a crisis, I’m sure she would say “no.” However, when tragedy struck, she eased into the role with such grace.

With each conversation I have held with Jessica since New Year’s Day, it is as if she finds her voice and her confidence little more. She represents so many students we have the opportunity and privilege to work with on a daily basis as a reaffirmation as to why we do what we do. In the midst of bureaucracy, budgets, policies, conflicts and tragedy, we have these amazing individuals that are working, struggling, and seeking their place not only in these places we call “college” but beyond. We get to be a part of their world for a little while and during that time we hope that we can help them find their way. While some students hit our campuses as self-proclaimed gifts to college, others quietly seek our guidance. They allow us to do what we believe we do best which is to simply help them learn about themselves and discover their own path. With Jessica, this juncture on her path presented itself in a manner which she may not have expected but that she, surprisingly, was prepared to handle.

Jessica and I have discussed the difficult semester ahead. The sorority’s struggles will be insignificant in comparison to their sister who is, fortunately, recovering. However, they will move forward as an organization and sisterhood. They will be there to support their friend and sister. My hope is that as they move forward, they will find it important to stop and ask Jessica, “are you ok?” Sometimes, three words can mean so much.

Sal Rizza is Associate Director of Student Life at Southern Connecticut University.