Expectations have served me well. Over the years I’ve been able to avoid a lot of difficult conversations – except for one. I remember sitting in a staff meeting during that year as a Graduate Hall Director as we had reached the tipping point of spring semester. We worked together, we lived together, and for the most part we enjoyed spending time together. Things were starting to break down within our team and I was getting to the point where I didn’t know what to do. Then the moment came where (either in pure frustration or pre-contemplative enlightenment) I asked my staff “What do you want from me?” Trust me when I say that I make it sound more glorious than it was.  Imagine more of the frustration and less of the enlightenment.

As I sat there listening to their thoughts, comments and feedback I was struck by how reasonable it all sounded (despite my stubbornness). I could even relate it back to my own experiences in college where I didn’t understand what was happening in the community around me. I had become so caught up in my own job and responsibilities that I didn’t take the time to think about how I was asking them to do theirs. Through that conversation we revisited the expectations that we set at the beginning of the school year and the results have become the foundation of the “Supervisor Agreement” that I still use with my students to this day.

Now, at the beginning of any supervisory relationship with student employees I go beyond sharing my expectations of them to sharing the expectations I have of myself. My agreement with them says that “I will strive to:”

Communicate the values, goals and objectives of [our office];

Following a conversation with the student about what else they would like from me as a supervisor it’s signed like a contract. I think that we often forget that we’re not the only ones with expectations in a supervisory relationship (with students and professionals). In my experience, these conversations have gone a long way in establishing an environment that encourages open communication, mutual respect and trust – way beyond anyone’s expectations.

Do you share your expectations for yourself with your students? What do you think are the most important expectations that we can hold ourselves to when we are supervising students?

I was born in 1982. While some say that the Millennials started a few years prior (or after), I’ve most often seen 1982 as the start of Generation Y. This works for me… after all, we were also the first class of the “new millennium,” hoping that the world wouldn’t end just months before we graduated from high school. Contrary to many in my generation I didn’t have a cell phone until I went to college, the Facebook boom hit right as I started graduate school, I didn’t own a digital camera until I was 23, and I’m not even a toddler by twitterverse standards. My tech savyness comes from a willingness to play and a curiosity for the world encouraged by the possibilities created by Generation X.

As tends to happen in a given week I was sitting in a meeting discussing what we needed to do for “this generation” with some campus colleagues. Cut to a scene from “Mean Girls” in which Cady Heron, in an attempt to woo Aaron Samuels, is downplaying her mathematical prowess so that she can get some help. As Aaron begins to answer her questions we are privy to the conversation in Cady’s head that goes something like “Wrong,” “So Wrong,” “Wrong, wrong, wrong.” I guess that’s a pretty dramatic example but I can admit that I’ve had thought process myself once or twice.

If my math serves me correct, Millennials have been working in Student Affairs for about three or four years now. The majority of us probably serve as the Coordinators or Assistant Directors on your campuses. Some of my peers have already stepped into Director roles… we are ambitious after all. Or, we’ve just recently unleashed our first bit of research in the field through our Doctoral candidates, now graduates. All of this to lead up to my next confession: we’re already here!

There’s a fallacy out there that we crave structure. Structure can be good, but I think what we really crave is clear expectations and established boundaries. Within those boundaries, however, we seek the freedom to play. Just like with technology, we like to look at problems as an opportunity to find a new way of doing things. If we are given a task and then given steps 1 through 8 to complete it… that is what the product will be.

(A question I’ve often pondered: What if our contracts were designed to promote the actions that we hope to see from our students as opposed to a list of actions/activities that are off limits? Are the contracts really designed to help with student learning, or are they to make it easier on us that have the difficult conversations? Your thoughts?)

Trust is big for us. We need to feel like we’re trusted to do our jobs. That can be hard though, because sometimes we don’t look like we’re working – I get that. The thing is that many of us have made ourselves so available via emerging technologies that we’ve entered a world of being perpetually on-call.  Maybe it’s because I was one of those students writing the 2:00am emails and asking for references due in two days that I extend a bit of patience (and an understanding smile) to the students I work with. Truth be told… I was the one checking my email at 2:00am to know they sent the message.  Our attempt at development will be more warmly received if we’ve established trust.

There is one place we get ourselves into trouble… we do have a tendency to think that we’re always right. My “Mean Girls” moments are a testament to that. Be patient with us… more often than not we come back around. A lot of us learn best by making mistakes. As a professional I’ve recognized that we have moments at work that there is “no fail option.” It’s important that we learn that lesson too, but I can tell you that if I’m given a chance to mess up… that same mistake won’t happen again.  

I have some other confessions to make:

-I didn’t proof this before I submitted it… that’s Microsoft Word’s job. Not to mention those little green wiggly lines don’t even make sense, no one actually talks like that.

-I called my mom before I sat down to write this. It’s the third time we’ve talked this week… oh, and there have been a few emails too.  After all, my parents have been the ones who have believed in me from the beginning and told me that I can do, or be, anything.

-I’m also “gchatting” with a former student and tweeting simultaneously. That’s just an attention span issue…

-Oh, and I’ve watched all five of the” Bring It On” movies (yes, there are five). That actually has nothing to do with being a Millennial, I just felt the need to get that one off of my chest.

Now, I make no promises that what I have to say applies to every Millennial. After all, I’m not the only one that is special – we all are! I’m just saying that I think it’s time we change the conversation a little. “This generation” is in the room and if we have a chance to play, we all might be surprised.

With our Welcome Week right around the corner I figured I would give it a shot and a “Find People” search for “Welcome Week” resulted in over two-dozen profiles. I perused the list to find a handful of very active profiles, some schools where I had friends working and a good number of schools you could tell were just testing the waters on this “Twitter thing.” By the time I decided I needed some dinner, I had added about a dozen schools to the list of people that I follow. These schools; from all over the United States and Canada, representing public and private institutions, large and small student bodies, and variations in orientation program designs have been an absolute joy to follow.

It wasn’t until the middle of this most recent Welcome Week on my campus that I noticed a trend. Each of those 12 schools, plus the three that I have worked at, had the same essential elements that make up the core of their programming schedule.  I realized that it’s a lot like a potluck dinner with friends. You were assigned to bring dessert and spend all afternoon whipping up an apple pie from your secret family recipe. You arrive at the potluck ready to show off your culinary aptitude when you realize there are two other apple pies already on the table. Even though they all contain the same essential ingredients, you find through tasting a sample of each that the three pies offer a distinct and unique experience for your palette.

Likewise, the Welcome Week experience is unique to each campus community. Inspired by my new friends that I have been following on Twitter for the past two weeks and the dutiful encouragement by my mother to learn to cook for myself, I would like to share with you my recipe for Welcome Week Casserole:

Start with your main ingredients; Move-In Day, some academic programming, and a healthy helping of student volunteers.

These ingredients create the base of your program. A semi-captive audience now resides on-campus that has survived (arguably) the first rite of passage on campus – carrying boxes to the (insert number that is actually one higher than the number of floors in your tallest residence hall) floor, maneuvering around the predictably broken elevator, and managing to avoid a parking ticket.

The academic programs are usually easy to identify… they contain the word “Academic” in the title and are usually frontloaded into the first full day of Welcome Week.

The student volunteers are often just as easy to identify — they are dressed alike and may be carrying large brightly colored objects (to be used in icebreakers). These students are often ridiculed by their peers on campus for being “too energetic,” “too happy,” or just downright “annoying.” Even though their motivation is sometimes in question (early move-in, the influence, recruiting for student organizations, building a social network, etc), I respect them more than almost anyone that works in Student Affairs. They are the front line of our programs, often being asked to fulfill expectations far beyond what would be imaginable for 18-21 year olds in a volunteer position.

Next, add one serving of a formal welcome program.

This program is usually designed as a way for administration and faculty to welcome new students to their community. Placed near the beginning of the week and with the pomp and circumstance associated with a commencement ceremony, these students officially become members of the academy. More than anything, this is a wonderful opportunity to involve campus partners in the orientation experience. (I think that campus spam blockers have been upgraded to weed out any emails with the words “invite,” “welcome week,” and “late night” in them.)

Now, gently fold in some diversity programming.

Probably the most unique of all Welcome Week components, I can think of nothing else more responsive to the make-up of the student body, campus and local social values, political influences and comfort level of orientation staff/committee members. It is worthy of graduate school case studies discussing the balance between challenge and support. 

For some spice, a pinch of University Athletics will do.

If you have a marching/pep band, it is a must. Be careful though, there is a high probability that it will not go as you planned with the Athletic Director or Athletics Event Coordinator. Coaches are paid the big bucks to make game time decisions. In front of the new students, filled with a lot of energy, and in an effort to increase attendance and support for all of the athletic teams on the roster – there are plenty of opportunities for “game time decisions.”  

Finally, the secret ingredient…

I can’t tell you what that is because it’s a secret! But, you know what I’m talking about. It’s the pink elephant on the campus. Every campus has one… it can take the form of large unsanctioned parties off campus, student groups hosting events in hopes of recruiting new students, or alternative “orientation programs” presented by jaded upperclass students. You won’t find it on the Welcome Week schedule, but if you ask any current student they can tell you when it happens. You may find something on the schedule for that day and time… it was probably put there because of the secret ingredient.

Mix it all together and place in an oven at 90 to 100 degrees for three to five days, or until ready.

My favorite part is putting it all in the oven. Mostly because I don’t have to do anything, but also because now it just leaves me with anticipation of the deliciousness that will result. I don’t know what’s happening inside the oven, all I know is that if I’ve done everything that I’m supposed to my casserole will come out exactly as planned. We go through great lengths to plan a week of events for new students on our campuses. Within all of this, is an inherent trust that our campus community will do their part to achieve the desired result. We arm new students with the ingredients to be successful; we engaged them with information and entertainment (edutainment… if you will); we give them access to successful upperclass students, faculty and alumni; and, then we hope for the best.

I can’t think of anything more rewarding and anxiety producing all at the same time. Hopefully we’ve set the table for an incredibly meaningful college experience. Now that I’ve stepped away from the table, full and ready for a nap, it’s time to make some notes and adjust the recipe as needed. The best part of it all is that we can rest assured that none of us will be bringing the exact same dish to the next divisional potluck.